Some things were just never meant to be heard
by Lady Nefertiti
Summary: These are things that you wouldn’t EVER hear from the cast of Inuyasha……
1. Sesshomaru and Kagome

**Title: Some things were just never meant to be heard…..**

Summary: These are things that you wouldn't **EVER** hear from the cast of Inuyasha……

(A/N:) Hi readers and reviewers... This fic is not geared towards a certain pairing or couple...it's just the basic Inuyasha cast. This fic is rated T due to some graphic quotes...

Enjoy reading!!!!

_Chapter 1: Sesshy and Kags…_

**-Sesshomaru-**

1.) "Shit!!! My tails on fire!!!"

2.)" I'd rather live in a tree like Inuyasha, after all he's doing something right! He's got two girls chasing after him!!!! "

3.)"You are so beautiful to me Kagome!!!"

4.) "Inuyasha do you want to be the Western lord instead of me?"

5.) "This is the song that never ends! Yes it goes on and on my friend!! Some people stop the singing without knowing what it was and they'll continue singing forever just because……" (chases his tail running in circles)

6.) "I love you! You love me! We're a happy family! With a great big hug! And a kiss from me to you!" (jumps up and down)

7.) "But Director! I like Kagura better! Why can't she be with me?!" "I quit!!!"

8.) "My day job is baby-sitting children."

9.) "I **LOVE** rock-and-roll!!!!!"

10.) "I dig the cookie monster!!!"

11.) " I just wanna have fun!!!"

12.) (whiny voice) "but Mommy Inuyasha took my **G-I-JOE** toy!!!"

13.) " Peace man!!!"

14.) "Where's the love?"

15.) "Kagome! I love you Koi!!!"

16.) "What is 1+1?"

17.) "I wish I was a Hanyou..."

18.) " Guess what? I'm moving to New York!! To dance for the prestigious school Julliard!!" "And I get to wear tights?!" "Holy mother of…."

19.) " I'm changing my name to Shrek!!! "

20.) "Kagome I'm hiring you to be my 'personal' assistant….and there's nothing you can do about it!!!"

21.) "If I only had a brain!" (runs into a wall by accident.) oops….

**-Kagome-**

1.) "Sesshomaru how come I can't have a sleepover at your house!?" (stomps away)

2.) "Sango kill Inuyasha with that bloody boomerang already! What have you been waiting for? He's a demon! Are you blind?!"

3.) " Ne Naraku? If I give you the Shikon will you get me together with Sesshomaru?"

4.) " Miroku what do you mean you're NOT a Hentai anymore and won't grope Sango even if your life depended on it??!!!!"

5.) "Mark me you bloody demon!!!!" (chases Sesshomaru with a rolling pin)

6.) " Say Kouga wanna play 'fetch?'

7.) " I hate you Inuyasha! I don't wanna search for a stone, look for it yourself!!"

8.) "Why couldn't the Shikon come out of Sango's body and why couldn't she be the copy?"

9.) "WHEEE!!!!! I'm flying!!!!!" (steals Sesshomaru's cloud-thingy)

10.) "Miroku I'll bear your child!!! Yay!!!" "Huh? Hey Sesshomaru what do you mean you have a problem with that? You want me?" '………….'

11.) (Whispers) 'I'm a pole dancer in real life…..' "WTF? What do you mean you heard me Sesshy?" (runs away)

12.) "You Da' Dawg man!"

13.) "A-B-C-D-E-F-G…..Barney is my enemy……"

14.) "I do love a dog! And it's not Sesshomaru or Inuyasha!!! It's **_Clifford_**!!! Yeah the **BIG-RED-DOG who comes on PBS……"**

15.) "Die……"

16.) "Director!!! How come I'm the only one from the Inu-tachi group who wears skimpy clothing?? Seriously….green is so out of fashion these days!!!"

17.) "I like em' real thick and juicy!!"

18.) "Inuyasha? Stand up boy and do the hokey-pokey then turn yourself around and then sit your butt down!!!!" (crash!!!)

19.) "The quilted quicker picker upper….."

20.) "I've got better things to do than go to school and search for shards!!!! Yeah!!!" "And you know what that is? Sleeping with the enemy!!!!" "Hey sesshy where are you sweetie-pie?"

21.) "Inuyasha how did you find out that I err….um….mated Sesshomaru?" (puts hand on her shoulder where the mark is…..)

_Lady Nefertiti: Please read and review!_

_Next time: Sango and Miroku……see ya soon!!!_


	2. Sango and Miroku

_Chapter 2: Sango and Miroku_

_A/N: Enjoy reading!!!!_

**- Sango- **

1.) _"WTF??!!!!"_

2.) (Says in a hushed whisper) "I like Naraku better….."

3.) "I'm a Barbie girl! In a Barbie world! Life is plastic! It's fantastic!"

4.) " I'm a stripper in real life." (Miroku chases Sango yelling 'really?')

5.) "Hey Kagome! It's raining demons! Hallelujah it's raining demons!!" "And what's this? Sesshomaru's one of them?! Yay!!!"

6.) "Are you bloody mad?"

7.) "Hey there's Harry Potter!!!!"

8.) "How come Bankotsu won't marry me?" (sobs)

9.) "Somewhere over the rainbow sky's are……"

10.) "Hey director? Can I have Kagome's job?" '……………….'

11.) " I'm starring as the female lead of _'The Texas chainsaw massacre…..'_

12.) "Hey what do you mean you changed my role from a demon- slayer to the role of Kanna?"

13.) "Hira...!!!" " huh? hey which one of you replaced my boomerang with a bannana???" (hears snickers from backstage)

**-Miroku- **

1.) "You know what? I have a secret. I am a race-car driver when I'm not being filmed."

2.) "I bake."

3.) "I personally don't care about searching for the jewel shard, I'd rather do something better with my time like sew or race."

4.) "It's a **BIRD**! It's a **PLANE!** It's **SUPERMAN!!!!"**

5.) "Guess what I bought Inuyasha! A new Playstation 3!!!! Wanna play?"

6.) "Inuyasha **SIT**!!" (wham!)

7.) "Sango I saw you kissing Inuyasha !!!!" "Are you cheating on me!?"

8.) "I preferred pink robes…."

9.) "You're replacing me with 'Ken'?"

10.) **Today on E!:** **_Miroku's real life story:_**

Miroku: "I got forced into being a monk…." (shakes head sadly)

Interviewer: "And how does that make you feel?"

Miroku: "Horrible. You know…I would've already been with Sango if it weren't for my hand." **_(Curses his hand)_**

Interviewer: "And how does that make you feel?"

Miroku : "I'm turning a new leaf and stopping my lecher ways for good."

Interviewer: I see and then how would that make you feel?"

Miroku: Can you just say one sentence?! Say something else!!! Are you like a bloody psychologist??

Interviewer: '…………………….'

11.) " I need love! You need love! We all really need love! All I want! All I need! "do-wop-shiddy-diddly-do-wop!!!"

12.) "What the **Hell** do you mean I'm not allowed into Victoria secrets?!!!"

13.) "_Thou shalt not_ take **this Miroku's woman!!!!!"** " Hey that kind of sounded like a combination of _Sesshomaru _and _Kouga_... and _Shakespeare_!!! I am good!!!!" (everyone else sweatdrops)

_Lady Nefertiti: Chapter 2!_

_Next time: Inuyasha and Naraku...See ya soon!!!_


	3. Naraku and Inuyasha

_Chapter 3: Naraku and Inuyasha_

Enjoy reading!!!

**-Naraku's quotes-**

1.) "The sun will come out tomorrow!!"

2.) "What's the Shikon-no-tama?"

3.) " Can you feel the love tonight?!"

4.) " I wish I was like Spider-man."

5.) "Come on and give me a kiss!"

6.) "I can't believe the director made me wear purple! (shakes head) hey Director! Do I look gay to you?!"

7.) "I changed my mind. Hey director! Can I move to the Rurouni Kenshin Anime and marry Karou Kamiya?" "What do you mean Kenshin has a problem with that?!"

8.) "I'm just not appreciated." (sings the blues)

9.) "I was a boy scout when I was young."

10.) "Du-oh?!"

11.) "My mommy wanted me to be a doctor…..not an evil villain……does that make me a disappointment?"

12.) "**FELIZ-NAVIDAD!!!!!"**

13.) "Guess what! Disney world wants me to star as a character in one of their movies!! F the Inuyasha anime and the Shikon. Who cares about ultimate power?"

14.) **"What do you mean I have to change my name to Yaseihana?!!!!"** (means wild flower)

15.) "I've got the **_magic_** stick!!!!!"

**-Inuyasha's quotes-**

1.) "Does this red Hakama make me look fat?"

2.) "What do you mean that Naraku will travel with Kagome and I have to be the bad hanyou!!!????"

3.) **"ORO???"**

4.) "Kikyo! What do you mean that you're moving to Egypt and have finally gotten a degree in Anthropology!!!????" _(is livid with anger) _

5.) _"You're fired!!!!"_ (think Donald Trump's show 'the apprentice')

6.) "What do you mean Kagome refuses to kiss me in this scene? It's just a tiny zit on my face!!!"

7.) **"AHH!!!** Miroku don't change in front of me!!! I've been scarred for life….." _(drops dead)_

8.) "I'm dying! save me Sesshomaru!" (screams like a girl)

9.) "Sesshomaru **WHERE** are you taking Kagome?!!" (narrows eyes) "and stop doing that to her neck!!!!"

10.) Inuyasha: "Guess what! I'm the new Western lord and Sesshomaru wants to travel with Kagome and said that he's going to F Kagome everyday….." **"WAIT-A-MINUTE!!!!!!!!"** "I've been **HAD!!!!!!"** (stomps away)

11.) **"WIND-SC….."** "Hey who replaced my sword with a **_hotdog?????!!!!!"_**

_(snickers can be heard backstage)_

12.) "Sango took my **BRATZ** doll and my **TROLLZ** doll mommy!!!!!"

13.) "I want to be a super-model and be on the miss America pageant!!!!

14.) "I am so beautiful to me! Can't you see?!!!" (la-la-la)

15.) " I'm the Candy-man!!!!!"

_Lady Nefertiti: and that's chapter 3 for you!!!!_

_Next time: Shippo and Rin…..see you soon!!!!_


	4. Shippo and Rin

_Chapter 4: Shippo and Rin…._

Enjoy reading!!!

**-Shippo's quotes- **

1.) "I'll admit it………Kagome is an evil mommy."

2.) "I'm joining Star trek next year."

3.) I'm just too sexy! It hurts me! Yeah baby! (looks into a mirror shaking his tail)

4.) "I wish I was human or a hanyou." " I mean seriously!!! Kagome is loved by two demons (Sessomaru and Kouga) and a hanyou! And Inuyasha is loved well liked by two miko's!!!! He's doing something bloody right!!!!" "What the hell do you mean I'm too young??!!!" "Damn you!!!"

5.) "I think Rin has a crush on me……" "What do you mean so does Kohaku??!!! Do I look freakin gay?!!!!" (runs away)

6.) "Why do I have a _**bow**_ in my hair?!"

7.) Shippo: " There are just some things that would be better kept in the dark." "Like Kagome and Sesshomaru's relationship for instance….."

Inuyasha: (pissed off ) **"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!!!!!"**

Shippo: Oops….did I just say that out loud?? (chuckles nervously then runs for his life)

8.) Shippo: ( looks up and narrows his eyes) "Oi wench!! Who are you?! Stalker! Security!!! There's a rabid fan-girl in here!!!"

9.) "FUCK!!!!!!"

10.) "Why am I starring in a **DOG** anime when I'm a **_Kitsune_???!!!"** (stomps over to the director baring his cute little fangs)

**-Rin's quotes- **

1.) Someone **_please_** tell me why I chose to be Sesshomaru's ward? I'd be better off talking to a _rock_ or a _mime!!!!_ Even a Mime **MOVES**….Sesshomaru just kinda stands there like marble….. (throws hands up in the air and walks off to find Kohaku….

2.) "What do you mean you banned _macaroni and cheese_ from the feudal era!!!! That's all I eat **BUCKO**!!!! I quit!!!!" (runs to Sesshomaru and tells him to poison the director to death)

**3.) I WANNA BE FAMOUS LIKE….. BE ON AMERICAN IDOL!!!!!! **

4.) Rin: (whispers) "I just recently joined uh…. _"Girls gone wild." _

Sesshomaru: "WHAT?!" (shakes head sadly) "I have failed as a father….."

5.) "I am the dancing queen….17!!!!! yeah……!!!!" (A/N: Abba)

6.) Why do I wear the **SAME EXACT OUTFIT EVERYDAY??!!!!** I mean _REALLY!!!_ If Sesshomaru-daddy is so rich can't I wear something red? Or blue? GAD!!!! I quit!!!!

7.) Rin: (innocent look) "Err….Sesshomaru-sama what is men-strau-la-tion?

Sesshomaru: (blank look) '...'

8.) "My new hobby is to pick up dead guys like Inuyasha picks up dead girls!!!! Isn't that just great?"

9.) "Why does everyone who writes fan-fics make me call **_Kagome_** my mother? Why can't **_Sango _**be my mother? I wanna learn how to obliterate demons!!!!!" "What do you mean you have a problem with that Sesshomaru-sama?"

10.) Rin: "I majored in Anthropology and Archeology so uh……Sesshomaru and Inuyasha when you die, I can dig up your bones….umm….just tell me where you want to be buried so I can dig you up later……"

Sesshomaru and Inuyasha???????

_Lady Nefertiti: And that was chapter 4!!!!! _

_Please read and review!!!! _

_Next time: Kikyo and Jaken!!!!!!! _

_See you soon!!!!!_


	5. Kikyo, Kagura and Kanna

Chapter 5: Kikyo Kagura and Kanna

_Lady Nefertiti: I decided to put Kikyo with Kanna and Kagura and Jaken's quotes will go later with maybe Bankotsu or someone else……_

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha...nope, not at all...

Enjoy reading!!!

**Kikyo: **

1.) Kikyo: "We are a family! I've got all my sisters with….err…."

2.) "How come the Writer of this fic gets spring break and the actors don't? This is injustice I tell you! This has to break _some_ laws! I want to see my lawyer! _Lady Nefertiti_ I'm gonna sue you!!!!"

(Backstage) '……………'

3.) "I got the Shikon-no-Tama from the 50-cent vending machine……..it's so shiny and pretty and all mine!!!!!!!" (evil laugh)

4.) .) "I'd rather take Bankotsu to hell with me…I mean he's already dead and he's human and he didn't try to kill me and I think he also has the hots for me….He's **PERFECT!!!!!"**

5.) Guess what Everyone!! I'm officially dating _Frankenstein_!!!!

6.) "Oi! I quit being dead and the always 'flamed' miko!!! I'm joining the army!!!!"

**Kagura: **

1.) "Maybe if I was 'real' and less bitchy then Sesshomaru would like me? It's worth a shot…." (chases Sesshomaru on her feather)

(Sesshomaru runs away when he hears that…. screaming "Kagome help me!!!!")

2.) Kagome: "Erm…Kagura? What are you wearing? Isn't it a bit too cold to be wearing a bikini?

Kagura: "I know but the red kimono was such a drag!!!!

Kagome: "Ah….Well I know how you feel….sometimes change is a good thing like I always have to wear the green 'getup' "

Kagura: "Hey being friends and all, can you give me Sesshomaru's number?"

Kagome: "No sorry…. he's mine….."

Kagura: "But..."

Kagome: "No..."

Director: "Places everyone! And this is the scene where Kagura kidnaps Kagome and…" "What the **HELL!!!!** Hey the both of you aren't supposed to be friends!!!"

**CUT!!!! **

3.) "Girls just wanna have fun!!!!!!"

4.) "Who's hair-brained idea was it to replace my feather with a fork!!!!!

(snickers heard backstage)

5.) "Could it be possible ...just thinking about it over the top of my head...why I couldn't have different colored eyes? Like seriously...red? I think that's why Sesshomaru doesn't like me..."

(Shakes head sadly)

**Kanna**

1.) "Does it seem like I need a tan?"

2.) " Someone tell me why I am **KAGURA'S** sister? I don't even look a bit like her! I should be related to Sesshomaru or Inuyasha!!!!

3.) "I'm all alone….there's no one here…."

4.) Kanna: "No one will ever like me …any demon's…even the dead guys and how degrading that a human will find ME worthless.…." (smiles sadly looking at her mirror) **BUT THAT DOENS'T MEAN I CAN'T HAVE FUN!!!!"** "Hey director where's the nearest club?"

Director: '………….'

5.) **"B-I-N-G-O...B-I-N-G-O** and Bingo was his name oh!!!!!"

_Lady Nefertiti: chapter 5!!!_

_Please read and review!!!!_


	6. Inutaisho and Totusai

_Chapter 6: Inu-Taisho and Totusai_

Enjoy reading!!!!

**-Inu-Taisho-**

1.) "I have failed as a father…." (shakes head sadly)

2.) "Such pretty swords! and they're all mine!!!!" (evil laugh)

3.) "What do you mean I never mated Izayoi!!!!" "Then there is no Inuyasha… That means no anime or manga!!!!"

4.) "Who mixed the reds with the whites!!! My clothes are **PINK** now!!!!!!!"

(Snickers can be heard backstage)

5.) Inu-Taisho: "Are you absolutely serious?!"

Director: (nods head)

Inuyasha: "Serious about what dad?" (walking up eating a sandwich)

Sesshomaru: (bored tone) "Yes….indeed do tell….."

Director: "That Inu-Taisho died on accident in the anime…"

Inuyasha: '………..'

Sesshomaru: '………….'

Inu-Taisho: "So that means……"

Director: "Yes that you are still the western lord"

Sesshomaru: '………….' (pouts) "Father! I am lord of the western lands!"

Inu-Taisho: "Be silent pup!"

Sesshomaru: "No one talks to _this Sesshomaru_ like that!"

Inuyasha: "ha-ha!!!!" (Rolls on the ground laughing) "ha-ha!!!" (tears start to come from his eyes)

Inu-Taisho: '……………….'

Sesshomaru: "I really don't believe this…..wait-a-second" (grins evilly)

Inu-Taisho and Inuyasha: "What?"

Sesshomaru: "Wonderful! That means I'm free to choose who I mate!"

Inu-Taisho: "No. As my heir you shall mate a demoness and…."

Sesshomaru: **"F... that!!! You mated a human!!!"** ( runs backstage) "Kagome!!!!"

Inuyasha: (pulls out sword) "Mine!!!!!"

(Boys start to argue and try to kill the other/eyes glowing red)

Inu-Taisho: "Boys!!!"

-Backstage-

Sango: "Hey Kagome do you hear that?"

Kagome: (sipping coffee) "It's probably Inuyasha wreaking havoc…." (sigh) "Sit boy!!!"

**(BAMM!!!!)**

Sango: "Now where were we?"

Kagome: "You were telling me how to lose a demon in **10 **days……"

**-Totusai-**

1.) "You know I really don't know who to blame these days….Inu-Taisho who gave those pups the swords or the boys for saying that they're both worthless swords….makes me feel worthless as a sword-maker. (sings the blues)

2.) "I'm switching jobs with Naraku cause I have the hots for Kagura!!!!!

3.) I dig the Spice girls!!!!! (la-la-la!!!!)

4.) "Kikyo this and Kikyo that….Inuyasha you need a new hobby!!!!"

5.) "I am the dangerous lion from the wizard of OZ!!!!!" "Feel my wrath!!!" (GRRR!!!!)

6.) "It's tearin' up my heart that I'm with you! and when we are apart I feel it too! and no matter what it takes..." (N' sync)

7.) Totusai: "I have a Major in British Litearture so I know all about Shakespeare and John Milton and Woodsworth and Yeats and..."

Inuyasha: (covers ears) "Someone tell him to shut-up!!!"

Sesshomaru: (hits him on the head) "Why Inuyasha? cause knowledge hurts your brain?" (smirks)

_Lady Nefertiti: And that's chapter six for you!! I had a lot of fun writing this….._

_Please read and review!!!!_


	7. Bankotsu, Jakotsu, Jaken and Kilala

_Chapter 7: Bankotsu, Jakotsu, Jaken and Kilala. _

_A/N: Last chapter_

Enjoy reading!!!!

**-Bankotsu-**

1.) "My mother wanted me to work in the circus….but I became an assassin…does that make me a bad person?"

2.) "If I wasn't in this anime…I would totally go be a singer and date Mulan…..say, she **is **still single right?"

3.) "I'm just so sexy it hurts! Really it does!!!"

3.) "What the F!!!!! What do you mean you cut out all of the bad words out of my script Director!!!"

4.) **"BANRYU….. AHHHHH!!!!!!!……"** (stalks up to the cast) "Okay who's idea was it to scare me with this '_SCREAM' _mask? Out with it!"

5.) "I've made friends with Sesshomaru!" (sings happy songs)

6.) "How come I do not end up with a girl at the end of the anime?" (flips through script) "**WTF!** _Lady Nefertiti!_ Make the director change the script! I am too sexy to die young!!!" (panics)

7.) "If I'm not the gay one then why am I wearing purple!!! I need a change in wardrobe!!!"

8.) Director: "Places people! Now this is the scene where Bankotsu comes in trying to kill Inuyasha and then he blocks….."

(Inuyasha and Bankotsu come into the set…Eating ice-cream)

Inuyasha: What's the matter?

Director: (sweatdrops)

Bankotsu: What? are we late?

Director: "You were supposed to be here half-an hour ago and you both are supposed to be _enemies!!!_

9.) (Bankotsu chants) "Ka-go-me! Ka-go-me! Will-you? Will-you? Be mine?!

10.) Bankotsu: "I'm switching jobs with Sesshomaru cause he didn't die at the end!"

Sesshomaru: "You dare suggest that _**this Sesshomaru**_ should perish at the hands of such filth?"

Bankotsu: "But I have you're mate's permission!"

Sesshomaru: "This Sesshomaru _did not_ mate any female yet…."

Bankotsu: "Kagome's your mate! She told me so!"

Sesshomaru: "Is that so human?" (Grins evilly) "Well then let's go make that fiction a fact…." (walks off)

Bankotsu: '…………….' "So is that a yes rich boy?"

Sesshomaru: "No, I am the lord of the west…..Now prepare to die."

Bankotsu: (runs away screaming like a girl after seeing his green poisonous claws.)

**-Jakotsu- **

"Why the Fuck am I **GAY** in the anime? Miroku should be gay! He's the freakin' one wearing purple!

"_AI-AI-AIEE I'm you're little butterfly! Green black and blue make the colors in the sky!" _

"I shot the sheriff! But I didn't shoot the deputy!"

"Guess what! I get to participate in America's _Next Top Model_!"

"Why do I always get the dirty work?"

**-Jaken- **

"Okay, this is soooo not funny anymore! Who took my _**rubber ducky**_"

"Now I wonder why I didn't take Disney up on their offer? I would've gotten the main role in one of their movies! And here I am being a servant to Lord Sesshomaru who doesn't really give a rat's ass about me!"

3.) "**This Jaken** think that Lord Sesshomaru thinks too much of himself and needs a reality check!"

(Sesshomaru's eyebrow twitches and sends Jaken flying…far….far….away.)

4.) "And can you feel the love tonight?" (sings to ah-un who backs away slowly…very slowly away from the crazy Jaken)

5.) "I have always wondered why I haven't yet perished at the hands of Lord Sesshomaru yet. Maybe because he is just testing my loyalty?"

**-Kilala-**

'_Meow?' _

_Lady Nefertiti: And that's chapter seven for you!! I had a lot of fun writing this fic_

_Please read and review for this last chappie!!!!_


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